2004-10-06
I suck. Really I am the worst friend in the whole world.Let me begin with how I met Margeaux May (MM).
After college I moved to Chicago I didn�t have but two friends (Guys) and I didn�t even know them well. See I had moved around a lot and never spent more than two years in one city. I had several good friends who were women but they lived scattered across the country. So as I left college and into the adult world I was faced with a huge problem. I was convinced I would never meet cool women and forge new friendships. It was just too hard. To make matters worse I worked in a job that didn�t have many women either.
I accepted this and through myself into work. I worked with a great guy named Anthony who sporadically took me out on the town. His girlfriend lived in Canada (or so he said.). One evening we went to see the Bulls play (club seats, so cool) and then headed over to a party at a bar called Red No. 5. I chatted up the party goers feeling ever so out of place and very lonely. The people were fun and I wondered how they all new each other. When I asked it seemed they all went to college together. Figures.
I was introduced to MM. She was intelligent and witty. I could tell right away she was different from the other �Trixies� in Chicago. And I�m not sure who asked who (I think I asked her) if we could hang out sometime. Then I made a joke about how it was the first time I ever picked up a girl in a bar. She gave me her business card. We chatted about making friends with women seemed harder with each year. She made me feel confident and good about putting it out there.
I took the easy way out and emailed her at first. Then eventually we hung out. Pretty soon we were great friends and she introduced me to all her fabulous friends. I met some other women along the way and having such success with MM I pursued many new friendships. All these women were successful, smart, and beautiful. The pursuit of men was not always the main priority. They read books, and went to museums and operas. They drank tea. I loved them. They never judged. We never got in fights. We accepted each sister as they were. Embracing the bad traits with the good. I loved having them as my friends. They made me feel good about myself and womankind.
When I decided to move to California I thought long and hard about leaving them. I agonized about missing the monthly book group meeting. I wondered if I would ever meet another group of woman so fabulous. But in my heart it was time for me to move on.
These women supported me in my move. They were by my side the night before I was California bound. They wrote (still write) me letters and send emails. They keep me in the group. MM does more than her fair share. They are still close to my heart but I sometimes I forget what is not in front of me. I forget birthdays and I don�t call often. But I do read MM�s diaries daily, at least when she updates.
Which leads me to why I suck. I forgot her birthday.
My email:
Please don�t hate the self absorbed me that never remembers any one else�s birthday. I am SOOOO Sorry. I suck.
I hope you had a fabulous day. I wish I could have been there celebrating at Guthries. I love that place. And I love you. Please accept my apology.
And Happy Birthday (a day late and lots of dollars short).
Her response:
Are you kidding? My favorite aunt forgot, too. I don't see it as much as 'forgetting my birthday' as 'extending the celebrating'--which I will continue to do as long as possible. So, thanks! Guthrie's was a great time. The older I get, the more I just want to laugh with my friends. Luckily, I'm surrounded by funny people who create endless entertainment--just imagine Marcus playing Taboo with another like-minded guy. It was scary, and dipped into scandalous territory, but I laughed for hours.
You were missed terribly, but I'm happy that you're in LA and have a job that you love (or are about to have!) and are near the surf. You're not self-absorbed, you're busy. And that's not a problem for me! Apology accepted, but never necessary.
Love you, miss you, have a great day�
MM
See what I mean.
I�m lucky.
By the way- My hero Rodney Dangerfield died yesterday. I am bummed. He brought me much laughter in my youth.
Love you Rodney...Forever.